By: Shantanu Das Sharma, Sr. Associate Editor-ICN Group
Ways To Achieve Anything You Want
Quick recap of what we have covered in Part 5
When a Goal Becomes a MUST… We Operate from a Different Mind-Set.
When We Give Ourselves No Option but to Succeed, We Will Always Find a Way!
Is Your Wish a ‘Must’ or a ‘Should’?
Anything You Ever Achieved in the Past Was a Must.
It is Not What We Expect, But What We are Willing to Accept in Life That Matters
KOLKATA: All of us have got dreams we aspire to attain in our lives. These dreams come from people who inspire us. We may dream of making Rs.250,000 a month, owning a luxury car and living in a prime location. At the same time, based on our beliefs, we also have what I call a ‘Level of Acceptance’.
This ‘Level of Acceptance’ means that though you may aspire to earn Rs.250,000 a month, you are willing to accept earning Rs.50,000 a month. Although you would love to live in a prime location or property, you are quite willing to settle for a small apartment in any mediocre location. Although you would love to be at an ideal weight of 65kg, you are willing to live life at 75kg.
Our self-image is what determines our level of expectation and level of acceptance in life. Would you like to make a guess which level we would tend most to gravitate towards? That’s right. We always get what we are willing to accept. You may set a goal to earn Rs.250,000 but if you are willing to accept earning Rs.50,000, then Rs.50,000 is what you are going to end up getting. Why? Because the Rs.50,000 level of acceptance is what we make a ‘must’ for ourselves.
WISH Level of Expectation i.e. Rs.250,000
Gravitates to
MUST Level of Acceptance i.e. Rs.50,000
We will not allow ourselves to earn below that level of what we believe is our minimum. This is our tolerance level. The moment we think we are going to go below our acceptance level, our mind hits panic mode and we will do whatever it takes to get above that. Again, when we are committed to do whatever it takes, we will get it.
People who make Rs.250,000 a month do so because to them, that is their level of acceptance. That is what they believe they are worth. They will not accept anything less. They will never accept Rs.50,000 or even Rs.100,000 a month. They will do whatever it takes to get the level they believe they deserve.
Donald Trump, the billionaire real estate mogul, cannot accept being second to anyone. It is this ‘I must be number one’ that drives him to be the best, or at least the flashiest, the best known in his field.
Jack Welch, the legendary CEO of General Electric (GE) would not accept any of the companies under his charge to be less than number one in their markets. This is why all three hundred companies under GE have been market leaders for years.
Tiger Woods has very often been heard to say, ‘Why go in to play a tournament unless you are going to win?’ This is why he has achieved the most number of wins in a season and is ranked the world number one.
Learn To Raise Your Acceptance Levels
Unless we raise our acceptance levels, we will never do what is necessary to achieve our goals. So, for example if you want to make more money, you have to raise your standards of what you are willing to accept. Now, consider what influences our level of acceptance? Why is one person willing to accept a lifestyle based on Rs.50,000 a month while another has set an acceptance level five times that amount? Well, the standards we have come generally from our family, friends and our environment. The people whom we spend most of our time with define the standards we measure ourselves against.
In fact, research has shown that people normally earn 10% more or less of the 10 people they mix around most with. I decided very early in life to be an exception… because I wanted an exceptional life!
While many of my peers in their training career set their minimum standards at Rs.50,000 a month (that is what most fresh trainers earn), I saw it as a must for myself to earn at least Rs.100,000.
To me, it was a ‘must’ because, based on my material aspirations at the time, Rs.100,000 a month was what I believed to be the minimum I needed to afford a lifestyle and an apartment, with enough left over to invest for the future.
My high standards drove me to think and operate out of ‘the box’. I knew I could not, on switching on to training & coaching career at the second part of my life, go the conventional route of sending out resumes and applying for a free lance trainer’s job like everybody else. Why? Because who the hell will pay a middle aged person fresh out of training Rs.100,000 a month! All through my career and first half of corporate years I kept upgrading my skills through seminars, workshops, local and overseas (which I funded myself), and books. I started several businesses while still studying full-time to create the level of value necessary for me to command that level of income. After leaving my corporate IT job at Singapore and returning to India, I fully invested for years together to learn the skills to earn the right to establish my delivery model to come out with my (first time in India) signature program of one to one NLP+ Lifestyle Coaching & Certification programs contributing to raise the competency of my trainees and coachees in an effective and appropriate way.
Pretty soon, I was making the money which I demanded from myself! I should add that by the time I was halfway through my learning & training, I no longer needed to access my accumulated reserves to finance my needs and wants.
Do You Feel Stuck in ‘No Man’s Land’?
I had a friend SC who worked for an MNC and who earned a pretty decent wage in a job most would envy. But, whenever we met, he would always grumble about how fed up he was working
for someone else and how much he wanted to get out and live his dreams.
‘I wish I had your freedom’ ‘I wish I could earn the money you earn’. ‘Then do it! Take action!’ I encouraged him. His usual response would be, ‘yeah, soon’ ‘when my kids get older’. But he would do absolutely nothing about it and, whenever we met, he would start grumbling again. SC is so typical of many people. They are not happy where they are because they are performing way below their expectations and their potential. And yet, it is not painful enough for them to must do something about it. They are stuck between their level of expectation and acceptance. As a result, they stay there for the rest of their lives, feeling miserable.
Be ‘Dissatisfied’ and Get ‘Inspired’
In order for you to increase the quality of your results, setting goals is not enough. Goals give us a direction to aim for but in themselves there are not enough of a ‘must’ for us to reach the finish line. You have to raise your standards of what you are willing to accept. And the way to raise your standards is to be ‘dissatisfied’ and get ‘inspired’. I have found that the best way to get dissatisfied is to read about or mix around with people who are a lot better than you. People who have a lot higher standards than yourself. When I made my first Rs.200,000 (twelve years ago in corporate job) and continued to make Rs.24,00,000 annually, I started becoming satisfied. This was because I was comparing myself to my peers, who were years behind me.
What I did not realize was that I had started to become complacent and stopped growing. I didn’t feel challenged anymore, I felt like I had lost my drive. To challenge myself, I started setting higher goals. I felt motivated to take action initially, but pretty soon I did not have the drive to achieve these higher goals I set. I set goals to write books, create new businesses but found myself procrastinating and eventually giving up. That’s when I realized that I was willing to accept where I was. I could live with what I had because I was way ahead of everyone else my age. I felt satisfied and that was what was keeping me from achieving more.
Suddenly, I Felt Like a Small Fry on the Floor…!
Then I left my job in Singapore and returned to India. Soon after I trained myself with NLP I began my second part of my life to establish myself as a lifestyle coach. I found coaches who make over Rs.50 lakhs in coaching business annually and are below 50. Although I was the youngest in my coaching experience and most others life coaches were nearly 10 years my senior, I suddenly did not feel so satisfied anymore. I had thought I was successful and wealthy… until I met many coaches who had businesses 10 times the size of mine and who had achieved so much more. They were making Rs.50 lakhs through their coaching business offering their coaching & training services to publicly listed companies.
All of a sudden, I felt like a small fry on the floor compared to these people. And while I was inspired by them, being with these top coaches & trainers made me totally dissatisfied. That was a defining moment. In that instant of discontent, I raised my standards. I raised what I was willing to accept to new heights. Overnight I made it a must for me to expand my business and increase my profits significantly; to put plans and actions in place to invent my signature NLP+ Lifestyle Certifications and formed Neuromind Leadership Academy. After all, if these coaches had done it, then so could I. As soon as I raised my acceptance level, my drive kicked in and so did my signature program sales and profits.
What is Your Level of Expectation and Acceptance?
Be very honest with yourself, what is your current level of expectation and level of acceptance in the different areas of your life? Invest the time to reflect and to write down your thoughts. The exercises that follow are designed to help you raise your personal standards so that your success becomes your absolute priority.
1 – Level of Expectation (Your Dreams & Goals)
Income level: What is your desired income?
Lifestyle: What lifestyle would you love to have? Describe it.
Health: What level of health do you want to be at? What is your ideal weight?
Career: What do you wish to achieve in your career & business?
Relationships: What kind of relationship do you want to have with friends & family?
2 – Level of Acceptance: (What are you honestly willing to settle for?)
Income level: How much money have you been willing to settle for?
Lifestyle: What kind of lifestyle have you been comfortable with?
Health & Wellbeing: What level of fitness, weight and general health have you been willing to live with?
Career: What have you been willing to settle for in your career & business?
Relationships: What kind & quality of relationships have you been willing to accept?
Reflection: Is there a big difference between what you expect in your life and what you are willing to truly accept? As you think about it, do you begin to realize that the level at which you are living your life is the result of the level of acceptance you have been setting for yourself?
Can You Put Yourself On the Line!
Now that you have listed down your new standards, here is a simple strategy to use to ensure you will achieve it. The secret is to put yourself on the line! In other words, put yourself in a situation where you have absolutely no choice but to achieve it. When our brain is given a choice to do something or to put it off, we will always gravitate towards the easier path. But when we have no choice but to do something, we will always find a way!
Many successful individuals created the results they did because they simply had no choice. They put everything they had on the line.
(I facilitate Thought Leaders, Change Makers; Professionals & Business Owners translate NLP concepts into actions to achieve and elicit personal excellence. I conduct NLP Lifestyle Coaching Certification programs for individuals, corporate and celebrity clients. In the next article, I will conclude this article about ‘Ways to achieve anything you want’ and after that you will come to know in the following articles, how you can utilise concepts of NLP+ in all walks of your life to replicate the success blueprint of a winner mindset to win through life. So, stay tuned every Monday & Saturday and fasten your seat belt to ‘Enhance Your Lifestyle With NLP+’)
My #1 Amazon Best Selling book ‘Awaken The Incredible Within – Incredible Is The New Giant’ is available at Amazon in English at http://bit.ly/Awaken-The-Incredible-Within
Shantanu Das Sharma, Creator of the concept NLP Lifestyle Coaching with NLP+, Founder of Neuromind Leadership Academy is an Amazon #1 Best Selling Author, NLP Lifestyle Master Trainer & Coach, Clean Language Facilitator & Strategic Interventionist.
